electronic uprising

The rice did not work. My pretty gold iPhone will not charge or turn on, and is now an $800 paperweight. EVERYTHING IS AWFUL.

All is not lost, however. My sweet friend Steve works for Verizon and got his hands on a replacement iPhone for me. It has much less memory than mine and is distinctly un-pretty (black and grey, ugh), BUT IT WAS FREE and it is not waterlogged or otherwise useless so I am attempting to get used to it. My friend Adrienne said to just think of the black as being "super sleek" but I still feel like a stock broker or some kind of suburban dad. (In my head, these are the people who voluntarily get the black iPhone.) I'm working on it. In the meantime, Steve is attempting to fix my pretty phone, so fingers crossed and send him all the good karma in the world.

My iPod also died over the weekend, so basically I just have felt it was in my best interest not to blog or spend any unnecessary time on the internet. When the electronics start turning against you, you really just want to stay offline and read things on paper.

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Brandon went to Vegas for a bachelor party last weekend. I was equal parts sad (because I like him and it was the longest we have been apart since we moved in together) and excited (because I could finally watch all of the terrible movies that he refuses to watch with me).

But I was also nervous. When Brandon is gone I have to care for all three pets, and the last time this happened Maisy experimented with bio-terrorism by way of pooping in her crate, eating it, and throwing it up all over our bedroom.

It was so disgusting. I have only recently begun to move past it. May 2 will be the three-month anniversary of this atrocity, please think of us.

So aside from movie-watching and cleaning things the way they are supposed to be cleaned, my plan for the weekend was to entertain Maisy each morning so that she would be too tired the rest of the day to audition for Al Qaeda. On Saturday, we went to the dog park for a few hours.

She was pretty into it.

And then she slept all day! On Sunday I took her for a two-hour walk, and after she was calm enough to watch movies with me while not attempting to destroy the house or my spirit. 

She also spent part of the weekend experimenting with festival fashion. I think she pulls it off pretty well.

We survived four days alone together with nary a poop incident. In general she was a pretty good goober while Brandon was gone and I would say I have 94 percent forgiven her for The Poopening Of 2016.

I have not forgotten about it, though. Probably it will haunt me forever.

Exactly like this.